Staring Contest
by MostlyxShortxStories
Summary: Unconnected OneShot drabbles of Mello's and Near's daily lives. Staring contests, pointless arguing, and general trouble ensue between the two. Some Matt included. Mainly AU.
1. Staring Contest

**A/N: I've edited these little one-shots. Beware that when I first wrote them, I had no idea where **_**any **_**of them came from. Random inspiration FTW.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note.**

**/-**

Near and Mello were at it again.

Well, Mello was.

Near had been playing with his toys in the playroom, minding his own business and not bothering the other children, when Mello came in. Mello; the too-emotional, sensitive, take-everything-up-the-ass Mello. He came to distract Near, or more accurately, get a rise out of him. Focused completely on his goal, he initiated his plan.

Near was on the floor, and Mello took the seat directly in front of him. The blond stared right at the little albino. Just _stared, _but no surprise there. He stared intently at the head of white, messy curls. But Near kept playing with his toys, ignoring Mello, but the blond was determined.

Finally, Near decided to play along with Mello's game. He looked up from his toys and stared directly into Mello's blue eyes. This went on for several minutes, until Mello began shifting uncomfortably in his chair. Near smiled on the inside, while Mello yelled out in frustration, then stormed out the play area.

Near went back to his toys.

**/-**

**A/N: I actually very much adore this one.**


	2. Broken Lamp

**A/N: I love editing, really, I do. It's just like seeing how much you've improved.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note or Mario Cart.**

**Thanks to my reviewers!**

**/-**

"Guys, I broke my lamp," said a very depressed Mello while walking into the living room of the aparment that he, Matt, and Near shared. The blond was holding said broken lamp. Near was solving a rubix cube on the couch next to Matt, where the redhead was currently playing Mario Cart.

"And how did you manage to do that?" asked a very inquisitive Near, not bothering to look up once from his intricately designed jumbled mass of colored cubes.

"Well, it was on my tv, and when I tried to turn it on, it just kinda, I don't know. The switch like tripped out and my lamp kind of fell." Mello nearly broke down in tears, but he kept himself composed.

"Off of your tv?" Near was skeptical.

"Yeah. Depressing, huh?"

"Lamps don't go on top of television sets."

Matt looked up from his video game, and looked between the blond and the albino. An argument was about to begin between the two.

"Well then, where do lamps go?" Mello asked.

"They go on bedside tables, like the one that you have your tv placed on. Actually, why don't you move the telly off of that table and put your lamp there? You never turn on that tv anyways, and plus, you've got another one." Near was now looking at Mello with a blank expression, curling his hair in his fingers, rubix cube long forgotten.

"Because Matt goes in sometimes and plays his video games on there," Mello said, placing a hand on his hip.

"Sometimes? All of his gaming consoles have been in the same dusty corner of the living room for quite some time now."

"Well every once in a while he goes in and uses it!"

"When was the last time?"

"...shut up!" With that settled, the blond stormed off back to his room, still gripping the broken lamp tightly. Matt went back to his game, not noticing Near's smirk.

Two points for Near, zero points for Mello.


	3. Melloitis

**A/N: Sorry! I know it's been a while since I've updated. Heh.**

**Mello is a bit OOC.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note or Spongebob Squarepants.**

**/-**

"But come on!" a twelve year old Mello complained to and eleven year old Matt while the two were walking down the corridors of Wammy's one day. "Two plus two _has_ to equal five! They even proved it in cartoon's for Kira's sake!" He was jumping up and down, obviously hyped up on chocolate.

Matt was becoming rather annoyed with his best friend. Seriously, Mello was supposed to be a genius and he was listening to what cartoons say? The world was definitely flipped upside down, and Mello didn't know which way was right-side up.

"Mello", Matt said rather firmly. "Just because cartoons proved it, doesn't mean it's true".

"What's true?" Linda and Near asked, suddenly appearing out of nowhere.

_Oh great, just what I needed; a blockhead and an emotionally retarded sheep. Linda will probably agree with the airhead next to me,_ Matt thought to himself.

"That two plus two equals five!" Mello answered excitedly while running in circles. Linda looked dumbfounded, but no surprise there. Near just stood, emotionless and blank as always. Again, no surprises.

"Don't believe a word he says, Linda", Matt told her. "You might get Mello-itis". Everyone laughed at Matt's sarcastic humor, even Near. Everyone except Mello. He just didn't get it.


	4. Free Lessons

**A/N: Kinda short, heh.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note.**

* * *

><p>Matt and Mello were sitting in their econ class, bored out of their minds. Today, their oversized instructor was giving a lecture about how nothing in this world was truly free.<p>

"Except a chick's virginity", said Mike, the orphanage pervert. The class laughed, and the chubby instructor simply rolled her eyes and moved on with the lecture. Matt and Mello paid no particular attention, but Mello decided to write the redhead a little note, sliding it over to him across the desk when he was finished.

_'Hey,'_ the note said.

_'Hi_,' Matt wrote back.

Mello, knowing full well that Matt wasn't paying attention, decided to test him anyways.

'_Nothing is free in the world of…'_

_Supply and demand,' _Matt wrote back easily.

'_Wow, you __**do**__ pay attention.' _Mello was only half-shocked.

'_Yup, always do,' _was Matt's simple answer, which irritated the blond.

Mello furiously scribbled down his reply. '_Please speak correctly.'_

'_You mean __**write**__ correctly.'_

'_I mean shut the fuck up.'_

Matt read it and giggled, and didn't write back.


	5. Racial Profiling

**A/N: **This is all Mello.

**Warnings: **Drugs mentioned. This chapter has been edited, but just a little, so please excuse the overlooked mistakes.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Death Note**.**

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>Mello was standing by the edge of the curb, hands clasped together behind his head, legs spread. He had been pulled over for speeding. To him, it wasn't a big deal; it was not like anyone was hurt, except for the old couple that had to jump out of the crosswalk before Mello ran them over. He was pulled over a few minutes later, and the cop didn't even ask him for his license and registration. One critical look at the blond and the officer had him step out of the car with his hands up. Obviously, the pig was a racial profiler, and Mello rolled his eyes in distaste. He kept his mouth shut, however, as he waited for the officer to finish his business.<p>

The cop was currently doing a search in his car, and soon made his way over to the. Mello kept his cool, even though in his left pocket was a small baggie of black liquid; heroin, Mello's favorite drug. He'd gotten into the shit when he was ten, and it had led to the loss of many things, people, and much other unimportant shit that he really didn't care about.

The officer began the frisking, starting with Mello's shoulders and moving to the front of his shirt. His old, white hands worked their way down until they reached Mello's pants pockets. The blond inwardly smirked as the cop's hands seized their movements on the left pocket, obviously feeling something out of the ordinary, but not reaching inside to check.

"You know, it'd be pretty funny if I were to stick my hand in there and find something illegal, now, wouldn't it boy?" The cop said as he stepped around to the side of Mello. He began to pat the side of his left leg.

Mello looked at him hrough the crook of his arm, smirking. "Yeah, that_ would_ be pretty funny."

The officer chuckled lightly, and let him off with a warning.


	6. Barney

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Death Note, Barney, or any of his creepy songs.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Mello," said Matt from his spot on their couch in their old apartment. He was playing Halo, when a weird thought occurred to him.<p>

"What, Matt?" Mello asked from his spot next to the striped gamer. He was happily munching and licking away at a chocolate bar.

"Barney is a rapist," Matt responded, his eyes never once leaving the screen, and his fingers not faltering in their movements.

Halting his seductive chewing and licking of his chocolate bar, Mello asked in an amused tone, "What?"

"Yeah, Barney is a rapist. Haven't you ever noticed that when he starts singing the 'I Love You' song, he scoots in closer to the kids? That clarifies that he's a rapist, and that's just very disturbing."

Mello looked at Matt, and a devious idea popped into his head. "Hey, Matty."

Pausing his game, Matt's gaze shifted to Mello, who was wearing an evil smirk on that pale, creamy face of his. "Yes, Mello?" he asked timidly.

Mello moved a little more to Matt's side. "I love you," he slowly began, inching more and more towards Matt's side of the couch.

Needless to say, Matt did not sleep well that night.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Seriously! :D


	7. Ladders

**A/N: **Heh. Erm, enjoy?

**Warnings: **Fem!Matt. It was needed XD.

* * *

><p>Mello had a job, and Near was his boss.<p>

What a great fucking job he had.

But that wasn't the best part, no way in Hell. Mello had a job as an electrical technician, which meant that he had to work on wires, which usually meant that he had to go to some chick named Matt's house, because she was the only _living _resident for about ten miles.

Yes, Mello lived in a rural area, and he was at Matt's house every other week, either fixing the wires in her home or fixing the wires up on the telephone pole.

One fine, summer day, Mello had to do a job on the side panel of the roof of Matt's house. Some cords had fizzled out, and he had to fix _and _replace them.

What a pain. Near must have_ really_ hated him.

Mello climbed his ladder to Matt's roof, and began working on the cords. Occasionally, Matt would come outside to check on him. A half hour into the job, Mello realized that he had left some important tools in his work truck. Annoyed at his forgetfulness, he made the descent down his rickety ladder. Not even four steps down, he missed one, and fell towards the concrete driveway, landing on his back.

Matt saw the whole thing and went running out to Mello, who was spread eagle on the driveway and face contorted in pain.

"Oh my gosh, are you okay?" Matt asked while bending down and placing her hands on her knees. Mello weakly glared at her, and through gritted teeth replied, "Just. Fine."

"Okay then!" Matt said a little too cheerfully, and went walking daintily back inside her house.

When she was completely out of earshot, Mello muttered under his breath, "Stupid fucking bitch," and slowly stood up to retrieve his tools and finish his job.


End file.
